The Two Modes of Empathy Great Leaders Master
Empathy is not a one-size-fits-all.. Great leaders understand that there are two different modes, each employed to serve different purposes in different contexts.
Cognitive Empathy: The Strategic Approach
Cognitive empathy means knowing what another human is thinking emotionally. You know they’re feeling a particular way, you grasp why they’re feeling it, and you can predict how they’ll likely respond—all without absorbing their emotion yourself.
This type of empathy is very effective in the workplace. If a colleague is upset about a project setback, cognitive empathy enables you to see things from their side, acknowledge their frustrations, and offer solutions without getting frustrated yourself. You remain rational but still respond with genuine interest while addressing their needs.
Emotional Empathy
Emotional empathy involves truly feeling with another. When your colleague is promoted, you feel genuine happiness. When they fail, you feel their disappointment. This deeper emotional connection creates strong bonds but can be crippling if not employed with moderation.
This type of empathy also comes more naturally in relationships—your child’s excitement over their accomplishment or your spouse’s upset over a problem. The emotional connection strengthens relationships through shared experience.
The Balance of Leadership
The best leaders apply both types strategically. During crises, cognitive empathy anchors you as you attend to others’ emotional requirements. In team celebrations, emotional empathy spreads positive energy and reinforces culture.
The key is knowing which type is most appropriate for the circumstances. Emotional empathy with each member of the team’s stress would leave you exhausted emotionally. All the time using solely cognitive empathy would result in your being seen as aloof and mechanical.
Practical Application
Before engaging in challenging conversations, decide what type of empathy the circumstances warrant. Is this a moment to provide consistent analysis (cognitive) or to connect emotionally with the experience (emotional)?
Dominating both forms of empathy does not render you more sensitive—it makes you a better leader and friend!
